


In His Arms

by inner_tempest



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 04:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inner_tempest/pseuds/inner_tempest
Summary: Every night since Adil’s suicide attempt, Toby wouldn’t let him go a night by himself…he made him sleep in his arms every night.





	In His Arms

**Author's Note:**

> One shot. Bit less angst, a bit more cute (I think so, anyway!)
> 
> I always get nervous about getting canon details wrong, so I apologize if you catch any. I really do try.  
> Still getting used to writing fanfiction again, and this is not an easy fandom. ¬¬
> 
> The Halcyon and the boys do not belong to me. I just enjoy writing them.

Every night since Adil’s suicide attempt, Toby wouldn’t let him go a night by himself…he made him sleep in his arms every night. Whether it was in the hotel or Adil’s tiny flat, the man refused to let him stay alone. The barman tried to assure him it really was okay…he wasn’t going to do anything. There had been a reason for it. Things had changed.

It was so much more than Toby needing to protect the man he loved. It was certainly a need to keep Adil close…for Toby to know he was there and wasn’t going anywhere. But it was also for _Toby_ …not being able to go a night with the memories, the fears. Perhaps it was sort of a selfishly driven feeling, but the man knew he would never be able to sleep again without Adil in his arms.

***

Despite the logic of it all, Toby wouldn’t have it. He had come too terrifyingly close to losing Adil, and he knew that he’d never be able to sleep again unless his lover was in his arms for so many reasons. Adil protested, putting up to Toby all the reasons that it could _never_ work…it was too risky, they’d get caught…and it seemed like there weren’t enough excuses in the world to explain why the barman was sharing a room with Mr. Hamilton. Sharing a _bed_. Toby assured him they’d think of something. Between the two’s ingenuity, they’d figure something out. Between Toby’s clever imagination and Adil’s cool logic, they would surely come up with something air tight.

The first night was the worst. After Toby had saved Adil, neither of them could sleep, an unspoken thing that they both understood. Toby had opened the small window in the other man’s flat to let out the gas and once it was safe to be in there, the two just laid under the covers of Adil’s bed. The bed should have been too small, but with their bodies pressed flush against each other, it worked. Unable to sleep, the two of them had talked. Things wouldn’t go back to normal right away, but they would get there. They had begun the healing process.

Sometime around dawn, as the sun was rising in the morning haze, Toby realized he should probably head back to the Halcyon. He had vanished from the 50th anniversary party, and he was sure people would be wondering where he was. And although he realized he didn’t have a proper excuse when his mother or Freddie started asking, Toby figured he’d just do what he could. He was exhausted…hopefully he could manage something small and it would keep everyone at bay…at least immediately. Later on, after some good rest with Adil in his arms, he’d find a proper explanation.

“I’ll stay,” Adil had said when Toby sullenly announced he should go.

“Absolutely not,” Toby replied. Adil still didn’t look too great…his face still pale from the gas, and he was still prone to coughing fits as his lungs cleared out, but there was no way Toby was leaving him. Not with everything that had transpired.

Toby kissed Adil lightly before opening the door, wishing he could take the barman’s hand on their walk back to the hotel.  
Even in the early morning with few people about, it was too risky.

***

Neither man was prepared for what they saw when they arrived at the Halcyon. A smoking, bombed wreck where the left wing once was. The two just stared in disbelief for a moment. Neither Toby nor Adil knew how long they were just standing there…trying to take in the sight. It felt like ages, but couldn’t have been more than a few minutes.

“ _Toby_!”

Freddie came rushing over, pulling his twin into a tight, and rather unexpected hug. “Great God, Toby! Where have you been? We thought…we thought…”

“I had to check in on a friend,” Toby choked, his eyes searching out Adil when Freddie finally let go. It wasn’t a sound alibi, not at all, but it was all the man could manage at the moment. He knew from the start he had nothing… _just keep them at bay_.

When Toby finally spotted his lover again, his heart broke. Adil was sadly surveying what had once been his lounge and bar, now a pile of rubble. Toby wanted to go to him. To hold him, tell him it would just be rebuilt bigger and grander. That Adil would have command of the best bar in London in no time. But he couldn’t with Freddie fussing over him. “None of us have gotten any sleep,” Freddie said softly. “But you look even worse.”

Toby knew his hair was a mess, his nice clothing wrinkled. “We didn’t sleep,” he said softly. “There was…” he couldn’t finish that without giving himself and Adil away, which _wouldn’t_ help at all right now.

The problem was that Toby couldn’t tear his gaze from Adil.

Freddie followed Toby’s gaze to Adil, confusion etched on his face. “Toby-”

“We would really like some sleep. We…” Toby choked on his words. “We need some sleep.”

“ _We_?”

“ _Toby_!” Lady Hamilton forced her way over to her sons, a cut on her cheek. Toby saw something in her eyes that he wasn’t used to seeing…a sort of fierce maternal instinct…like a mother who was terrified she had just lost a child. And when Toby thought about it, she probably was…he just wasn’t expecting that look. “We’ve been worried sick about you. Where the _hell_ have you been?”

“With a friend,” it felt like a mechanical thing to say, just what he had said to his twin. Something to pacify the situation just for a bit. Freddie was still watching Adil. “We’d like some sleep,” Toby repeated to his mother.

At the moment, Toby could think of little else than crawling into bed with Adil and sleeping with the man in his arms.

Apparently he really _did_ look worse off than the rest of them, because Lady Hamilton nodded thoughtlessly. “Mr. Garland will find you a room.”

Logically, Toby knew he and Adil could return to Adil’s apartment for now, away from the smoking rubble of the Halcyon, but the thought of what had happened there only hours earlier still haunted the man. He felt the bile rising in his throat as he thought about the gas, as he thought about Adil so close to death, the fear as Toby had shaken life back into his lover. No. They would stay at the hotel, at least for the night.

Pushing past Freddie and his mother, Toby made his way over to Adil, gently rested his hand on the other man’s arm. The barman was still sadly looking around his lounge. “You’ll be sleeping with me,” Toby said softly to Adil. “If anyone says anything, we’ll make up an excuse.”

“It’s fine, Toby. I’ll just-”

“I’m never letting you sleep alone again,” Toby pressed, not caring about everything around them or the forcefulness of his words. “I don’t care what it takes. From here on out, you will _always_ sleep in my arms.”

“You know we can’t do that, Toby,” Adil said softly, always the voice of reason. He went to cover Toby’s hand with his own, but stopped when he saw Freddie and Lady Hamilton’s eyes trained on the two of them.

They had probably already let too much slip, but with the exhaustion that shook them to their bones, both knew they could do damage control later. It simply wasn’t a priority right now, and neither Toby or Adil could bring themselves to care.

Resolutely, Toby marched over to his mother and brother stood, watching the couple. “Mr. Joshi will be staying in my room with me. There was…a gas leak in his apartment. Tom alerted me to the situation, so I went over. God knows we don’t want to lose the best bartender in London. And I know you won’t give him his own room, so-”

“The _barman_?” Lady Hamilton looked affronted that Toby was even rubbing elbows with him. “Toby-”

“It’s been a _very_ long night, and we would like some sleep,” Toby ignored his mother’s tone. She could get as huffy as she wanted, and it wouldn’t change a thing. “All of us…” the man trailed off as one more thing drifted to the top of his sleep deprived mind. “D’Abberville?” he asked softly.

“Caught in the blast,” Lady Hamilton’s tone was suddenly clipped. “And didn’t make it. Though I should think…” she drew in a deep breath. “Perhaps it’s not a great loss.”

Toby couldn’t agree more. He wondered what had transpired with it all, but there was also some amount of relief. It made life for him and Adil slightly safer. The man’s eyes settled on his lover again, almost _too_ eager to tell him the fate of their blackmailer. Even a small piece of good news like that would mean something.

Freddie tried to catch Toby’s eyes, something the man wasn’t willing to give just yet. So the older twin gave Toby a look that made the man think he understood what was going on. It was just a look…not disgusted or angry or anything…more curious and wondering than anything. In his exhaustion, Toby was ready to just _tell_ him. He knew that wasn’t a great idea right now…he was in no state to reveal such a secret.

But something pulled inside Toby…Freddie had figured it out. He was his _twin_ , for God’s sake! It wouldn’t be the first time one of them figured out something about the other just with little cues. A twin thing, Toby supposed. And in some ways, he _wanted_ to tell Freddie.

Maybe later.  
Right now, he and Adil needed sleep.

Mr. Garland appeared, looking between Lady Hamilton, Freddie, Toby and Adil. “I have found rooms for all of you. If you would just follow me…”

***

Adil had slept over in Toby’s room just a handful of times. Nights when they were up late and Toby wouldn’t let him leave, no matter how short the walk to Paddington was. But that always involved early alarms to make sure Adil got out of the room before the maids came up. Sure, sleeping with tangled limbs was a beautiful thing for Toby and Adil both, but there was always that clock on the bedside table, ticking away. This was different from all those other nights. There was so much weighing on the couple. What had happened the night before. The bomb that hit the Halcyon. The fact that Freddie might be catching on. The list was endless.

The alarm wasn’t set. Toby made sure of it.

Despite their exhaustion, the need to wash off the night was just as important. Toby drew a bath for the two of them. They stripped out of their dirty clothes and sat in the tub together, Toby sitting against the back of the tub and Adil between his legs, his back resting against his lover’s chest. Toby held him close, still afraid the barman would disappear if he let go. Toby rested his head in the crook of Adil’s neck, breathing him in. Even through the grime and soap, Adil smelled like he always did. Spicy and earthy, a strange combination of scents that were so _intoxicating_ to Toby. The way his lover always smelled. His favorite scent in the world.

“I love you,” he said in a hushed voice, lips right next to Adil’s ear.

“I love you, too,” Adil replied.

“D’Abberville is gone,” Toby said softly.

“Maybe someone _is_ looking out for us,” Adil mumbled.

After bathing off the grime from the past couple days, the two men moved to the bed, still naked. They curled up together under the warm covers, Adil’s back pressed against Toby’s chest. Toby pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around him and burying his face in his neck. Adil was still coughing a bit, and Toby could feel it shake both their bodies…but it was definitely getting better. The fits were fewer and farther between. It still scared the hell out of Toby, bringing him back to finding Adil so close to…

“Do you need anything?” Toby asked softly. At this point, he would do anything and everything for Adil.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t want to move.”

Toby smiled slightly into Adil’s neck. “I’ve got you.”

“I know.”

“You’re never sleeping alone again.”

“So you’ve said.”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do. Go to sleep, Toby. I love you.”

“You go to sleep, too. I love you too, Adil.”

***

It _did_ get easier as Toby and Adil fell into a routine. True to his word, Toby never let Adil sleep alone. At first they would have nights in Adil’s flat, but Toby quickly decided his lover just needed to move into the hotel with him. They were still staying in temporary rooms, but the rebuilding had already begun. His mother had made sure of that one. When it came to moving into the Halcyon, Adil put up a fight at first, but he quickly realized no fight could change Toby’s mind. So he packed up his few belongings and discreetly moved into Toby’s room. There was still a fair amount of sneaking around, as the two men _knew_ this one would be hard to explain, but they were making it work.

Lady Hamilton had made sure to set up a makeshift bar for the few people living at the hotel during the rebuilding. No one could deny that alcohol was certainly needed. And it meant Adil still had a job, even if the money wasn’t as necessary, now that paying rent or for food was a thing of the past. Lady Hamilton was playing more of a role than anyone expected, but no one dared say anything. It was slightly inconvenient for Toby and Adil sneaking around, though. Sometimes Toby was sure his mother was seeing right through him. Would catch Adil entering Toby’s room, as he had given him a key. Lady Hamilton being ever present was slightly scary with the situation…but Toby and Adil had certainly found plenty of ways to make it work. 

Toby was sitting at the makeshift bar with a book that night, as he often did while waiting for Adil to finish his shift. Adil couldn’t help but find it sweet that his lover always wanted to go up to their room at the same time…it seemed so _domestic_ somehow…though he had found the other man could be quite a distraction. Occasionally, Toby would look up from his book and give Adil a _look_ , and the barman’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest.

“Toby?”

The man looked up to see Freddie standing before him, looking slightly nervous. It was clear he had something to say to Toby…even Adil glanced up from where he was wiping down the bar when he heard the tone in his voice. The elder Hamilton twin glanced over at the barman, eyebrows furrowed.

“Freddie?” Toby grabbed his glass, holding it tight in the tense moment. He didn’t like the tone he heard in his twin’s voice. And while all parties knew they didn’t want a confrontation, there were certainly going to be words.

“I’ve been…I mean…people have been saying…surely the…”

“Stop,” Toby said softly but forcefully, though Adil could hear the tremor in the word. In his breathing. “It’s no one’s business but ours.”

“But surely-”

“It’s imperative that he stays with me. You don’t need to understand or accept it, but don’t you dare try and intervene.”

“Just tell me, Toby,” Freddie begged.

Toby’s eyes bored a hole into his twin’s. There were other people in the bar, and Toby didn’t want to have this conversation around others. And not like this. “I think you already know,” he finally said.

He snapped his book shut and marched off haughtily.

Freddie turned to Adil. “I won’t tell anyone. I swear.”

Adil studied Freddie for a moment. “There were…circumstances. And now he insists I sleep in his arms every night. There’s no use trying to fight him…trust me,” Adil took a deep breath. He would much prefer Toby be here for this, but he had to deal. Freddie was his _boss_ , after all. And it didn’t seem like he was reacting _poorly_ to any of it. 

“Well. I suppose if he’s happy.”

The corner of Adil’s mouth twitched into something of a smile. “He is that. I promise.”

Maybe it wouldn’t always be so bad for couples like them. Maybe there was some justice in the world…or there would be someday. Adil could only pray it happened in their lifetime.

***

Toby lay on his back, Adil curled up on his side beside him. His head was resting on Toby’s chest, and he could feel his lover’s heartbeat. Their legs were tangled, and Toby was running his fingers through Adil’s hair. They were still naked from their earlier love making, and perfectly content to just be holding each other in silence.

“Freddie knows,” Adil finally said.

“I know,” Toby replied softly. “Well…I sort of figured.”

“He’s not going to tell anyone.”

“Good,” Toby pressed a light kiss to Adil’s temple. “I don’t care what anyone says. I refuse to spend a night without you in my arms for the rest of our lives.”

“You may grow tired of me someday,” Adil said warily. The thought haunted him. He was the first person Toby had ever been with, after all. There were so many people out there that would be _better_ for the aristocrat. Even if he wasn’t forced to marry a woman, there were men more equal to him. Not a lowly Indian barman. “Someday-”

“Never.”

Toby wrapped his arms tighter around Adil, humming softly. “You don’t know for sure,” Adil said hesitantly.

“Of course I know. I belong to you, Adil Joshi. It’s not just for you that I have to hold you every night.”

It was a rare moment of vulnerability, and Adil didn’t have the words to respond. He placed a gentle kiss to the juncture of Toby’s neck and shoulder. “I love you,” he finally said softly.

“I love you, too,” Toby replied equally as softly with a yawn. “Sleep. Tomorrow is another beautiful day.”

Adil chuckled.  
Sure, he had fought at first, but every night in Toby’s arms was too good to ever give up. Sometimes it haunted him; why Toby had instated the declaration, but he was beyond grateful for the second chance they had both been given.

Drifting off to sleep, Adil decided that every night in Toby Hamilton’s arms was a blessing. He never wanted anything else.


End file.
